Having sex more often ruins your marriage
ANI | May 5, 2011, 11.03am IST
Think having sex with your partner would improve you married life? Well, you may want to reconsider that idea after reading this.
Rosie, who tried indulging in sex for a complete month, every day, found herself unhappy for the first time in eight-year relationship, reports the Daily Mail .
Being a journalist, she experimented to have sex every day for a month and keep a daily diary of the results.
She heard of people claiming that having sex every day brings a couple closer, induces new levels of intimacy and rejuvenates sex lives. But it rather had an adverse effect as it ultimately destroyed her relationship.
In the course of having sex for 30-days, just three days in, it became obvious it was going to be more challenging than she imagined.
By day four, desire had been usurped by boredom. Actually we flunked it. On the fifth day we managed a desultory fumble and it was only a change of scene on day six that revived us.
We happened to be staying at my parents' house. Decorum dictates that you do not indulge in frenzied sex when your mum and dad are in the next room. But we had sex simply because it felt a bit naughty.
At the end of the week, however, we were flagging again. We'd been to a friend's wedding and were staying in a Travelodge. Frankly, the unalluring surroundings would have quenched even the tiniest spark of desire. Once again we failed.
By day eight the tension was building. Going to bed each night was no longer a relaxing experience, but something to be dreaded because they both knew what was expected of them.
With time, sex became mechanical, passionless and irksome.
And when the 30 days ended-having replaced several required steamy encounters with nights sitting side-by-side in bed, simmering with resentment-their arguments continued.
Sex, once a shared joy, had become about as appealing as squeezing lemon juice into a finger cut. And now we weren't compelled to do it for the experiment, it wasn't even happening spontaneously.
In short, the compulsion had killed intimacy stone dead. Now that there was no physical closeness to patch over the cracks when we had a row, the fractures in our relationship grew into a chasm.
"You've always known I want children. And we've both conceded we had such a good relationship it would be hard to end it because you don't. But as we've been arguing so much lately, now seems the right time to split up," her partner said.
The silly but well-intentioned experiment designed to bring them closer had actually driven the couple apart.
She said that it seems the most important thing is to have enough sex to make you and your partner happy, not an arbitrary amount dictated by scientific experiments.